How Courage Gets You the Girl
03/26/2010
How Courage Gets You the Girl
By Michael Dyer
Since the beginning of time, in nearly every romance story, the
hero gets the girl. The only problem is, I haven't seen many
dragons lately, unless you count the alligators in the bayou
near my house, and honestly they're not bothering anyone as a
general rule. We all know courage is intimately bound up with
winning a woman's heart, but the problem is either we don't know
exactly how to be courageous, or the idea we have of courage is
something that can't be practically demonstrated in front of a
girl unless you're someone like a firefighter. And even in that
case, there has to be a fire going on right then.
The truth is, courage is simpler than you think. Once you grasp
its true nature, you will see that not only do opportunities for
courage abound, but that it has been an intimate part of your
life for a long time. Courage has the word couer as its root,
the French word for heart. We all have times where we do
something "heartily", where you really throw yourself into
something. Whether its playing sports or playing video games, we
have all habitually done some things heartily.
If you call to mind what it's like and observe it; it's a time
where the transition between noticing something (the placement
of the ball or hearing approaching zombies) and acting on it is
smooth and fast. Your actions may not always pay off, but as
long as you're really into what you're doing they pay off more
often than not. And when you're playing really well, you know
intuitively when to think and when to act so that you don't just
rush around to no benefit, and you don't miss opportunities
while you're standing and thinking. The exact same thing happens
when dealing with women. When you hold back, when you don't let
your spirit rise up and forward, she senses this, if even only
on an animal level. But when you are not holding back, she
notices this too. And if you're not even afraid where most other
guys are, she notices that too.
The process is this: knowledge always comes first, then
judgement, and then action. Knowledge, in some ways can't really
be stopped. Your mind is powerful and is sensing gigantic
amounts of information even when you're not consciously choosing
to think about it. Judgement is when you decide what to focus
on. Good judgement means respecting knowledge, and where you go
wrong is bad judgement, when you ignore what you know. Action is
the follow up.
Here is how bad judgement usually happens: You know you want to
get married eventually. You know a certain girl interests you.
And you know that being passive doesn't work. Bad judgement
usually happens when you start ignoring these things. Good
judgement dictates that you take action because nothing will
ever really happen with a woman unless you take action. Then,
you observe the result of your action. Either the girl wasn't
interested, in which case you should probably stop doing that
and try something else. Or she was interested, in which case you
can file that away as a nugget that will probably work again in
the future.
But typically, we don't follow our judgement and get solid
real-world experience. We want to wait until we have a real
feeling of certainty that she is interested. From my own
experience, if that feeling ever arrives, it turns out to be
false. Instead of simply acting and seeing the result, we wait
and wait, anticipating that a positive result will come on its
own without having to put ourselves on the line at all. This is
the very opposite of courage.
This is why courage is a virtue. It is a muscle and exercising
it becomes easier, but it always takes a little push at the
start before your feelings line up with taking action. Just like
on a rollercoaster, you never really feel like starting out
until you have already gone over the first hill. Courage not
only moves you toward your goal, but it also provides the
benefit of making you feel stronger and better whenever you
exercise it; however, all the benefits only come after you do
it.
About the Author: Michael Dyer teaches Christian men about
dating and relationships. He writes regularly for
http://www.AquinasOnDating.com.
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=504431&ca=Dating
By Michael Dyer
Since the beginning of time, in nearly every romance story, the
hero gets the girl. The only problem is, I haven't seen many
dragons lately, unless you count the alligators in the bayou
near my house, and honestly they're not bothering anyone as a
general rule. We all know courage is intimately bound up with
winning a woman's heart, but the problem is either we don't know
exactly how to be courageous, or the idea we have of courage is
something that can't be practically demonstrated in front of a
girl unless you're someone like a firefighter. And even in that
case, there has to be a fire going on right then.
The truth is, courage is simpler than you think. Once you grasp
its true nature, you will see that not only do opportunities for
courage abound, but that it has been an intimate part of your
life for a long time. Courage has the word couer as its root,
the French word for heart. We all have times where we do
something "heartily", where you really throw yourself into
something. Whether its playing sports or playing video games, we
have all habitually done some things heartily.
If you call to mind what it's like and observe it; it's a time
where the transition between noticing something (the placement
of the ball or hearing approaching zombies) and acting on it is
smooth and fast. Your actions may not always pay off, but as
long as you're really into what you're doing they pay off more
often than not. And when you're playing really well, you know
intuitively when to think and when to act so that you don't just
rush around to no benefit, and you don't miss opportunities
while you're standing and thinking. The exact same thing happens
when dealing with women. When you hold back, when you don't let
your spirit rise up and forward, she senses this, if even only
on an animal level. But when you are not holding back, she
notices this too. And if you're not even afraid where most other
guys are, she notices that too.
The process is this: knowledge always comes first, then
judgement, and then action. Knowledge, in some ways can't really
be stopped. Your mind is powerful and is sensing gigantic
amounts of information even when you're not consciously choosing
to think about it. Judgement is when you decide what to focus
on. Good judgement means respecting knowledge, and where you go
wrong is bad judgement, when you ignore what you know. Action is
the follow up.
Here is how bad judgement usually happens: You know you want to
get married eventually. You know a certain girl interests you.
And you know that being passive doesn't work. Bad judgement
usually happens when you start ignoring these things. Good
judgement dictates that you take action because nothing will
ever really happen with a woman unless you take action. Then,
you observe the result of your action. Either the girl wasn't
interested, in which case you should probably stop doing that
and try something else. Or she was interested, in which case you
can file that away as a nugget that will probably work again in
the future.
But typically, we don't follow our judgement and get solid
real-world experience. We want to wait until we have a real
feeling of certainty that she is interested. From my own
experience, if that feeling ever arrives, it turns out to be
false. Instead of simply acting and seeing the result, we wait
and wait, anticipating that a positive result will come on its
own without having to put ourselves on the line at all. This is
the very opposite of courage.
This is why courage is a virtue. It is a muscle and exercising
it becomes easier, but it always takes a little push at the
start before your feelings line up with taking action. Just like
on a rollercoaster, you never really feel like starting out
until you have already gone over the first hill. Courage not
only moves you toward your goal, but it also provides the
benefit of making you feel stronger and better whenever you
exercise it; however, all the benefits only come after you do
it.
About the Author: Michael Dyer teaches Christian men about
dating and relationships. He writes regularly for
http://www.AquinasOnDating.com.
Source: http://www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=504431&ca=Dating
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