America's Children Are Dying To Lose Weight
By Foster W. Cline MD And Lisa Greene

Wasting away, Katie died weighing only 58 pounds. And she was
sixteen. That just doesn't seem possible to me when I look at my
seven-year-old daughter who weighs in at about 55 pounds.
Anorexia is a medical enigma. Although there is little concrete
evidence of what actually causes anorexia, most experts agree
that there are several contributing risk factors. We believe
that awareness of these risk factors can reduce the odds that
they will be triggered so we are hopeful that this information
will save lives. If you're a parent or a teacher, you need to
read on…

Word has it around town that Katie had been told by a high
school teacher that "she needed to go on a diet." So she did.
Certainly this one comment didn't cause this young lady to spin
out of control with dieting but it might have been the straw
that broke the camel's back. Negative comments about body type
and size from authority figures, teachers, coaches and parents,
can have a big impact on an adolescent child's self-esteem and
are implicated as possible triggers in studies on anorexia.
Never underestimate the power of the spoken word to heal… or
kill…

Eating disorders (bulimia and anorexia) have historically been
considered a girl problem but the pendulum is swinging. Anorexia
is being diagnosed more frequently in boys, too. Young boys are
becoming more body image conscious than in previous generations.
Case in point: my nine-year-old son has come home from school
upset on several occasions because kids have called him fat. He
is far from fat; in fact, he has cystic fibrosis so we are
grateful for any extra padding he has and work very hard to keep
his weight as high as possible. His diet is exactly the opposite
of what everyone else is eating, filled with high fat, high
calorie foods. Jacob understands the importance of complying
with his dietary requirements but it can be hard for him to go
against the norm.

With the emphasis on childhood obesity and diabetes, children
are thankfully becoming more aware of the necessity of good
nutrition and weight control. But I wonder if there is a price
to be paid by children who are predisposed to eating disorders.
With the media, parents, doctors, schools and peers emphasizing
being thin and high achieving, it will be unfortunate if the
numbers of children diagnosed with anorexia accelerates.

The difficulty lies in knowing which children are predisposed
to eating disorders. As our society addresses the obesity issue,
are we unknowingly putting some children at risk for eating
disorders? How can we address the very real, very troublesome
problems associated with the alarmingly increasing body mass
index of our young children without triggering other children's
potential for becoming anorexic?

This is a problem every parent of every child should consider.
Research shows that about 6% of young people suffer from an
eating disorder and this figure is thought to be low. The next
time you are at a school assembly, look around. There are likely
to be at least 10 kids there who have an eating disorder. One of
them may even be your own. It is thought that the "anorexic
mentality" is in place long before there is physical evidence of
the disease. Has your thirteen -year-old been on a diet lately?
Stats say that there is an 80% likelihood that she has been.
Dieting at a young age puts children at risk for anorexia.

The cause of an eating disorder in any one child is unclear
because multiple factors appear to play a role. Genetic factors,
family interaction patterns, and the individual's own character
and personality have all been implicated. But to summarize the
problem in a single sentence, it appears that the illness is a
response to coping with stress in genetically predisposed
children who are filled with denial about their feelings and
weight. There! Quick, short, concise, and anything but simple.
This single sentence has many implications for parents and
parenting. Let's take a brief look at each of these contributing
factors individually and provide parenting responses that might
be helpful in combating eating disorders.

1. The Genetic Factor in Eating Disorders

Eating disorders, like many other behavioral illnesses, appear
to run in families. Not only does the illness itself run in
families but the predisposing temperament seems to as well. The
one good thing about illnesses that run in families is the fact
that children can be prepared to recognize warning factors prior
to the onset of the problem. When children are forewarned, they
are forearmed. This forewarning is best carried out in a
heart-to-heart discussion about possible future problems. A
loving parent, relative, or counselor can initiate dialogue
before the child is an adolescent, in an informative,
non-hand-wringing and factual manner that indicates a hopeful
outlook for a healthy future.

2. Anorexia and Bulimia as a Way of Coping with Stress

Food and emotions are closely linked. Over- and under-eating
change brain chemicals that affect anxiety and depression. They
are both often unhappy and ineffective ways of coping with
stress. An authority on anorexia recently noted that a child's
inherent vulnerabilities "load the gun," and environmental
stresses "pull the trigger." So, assuming inherent
vulnerabilities like genetics are unchangeable, how can we avoid
pulling the trigger? Is it possible that we can use parenting
techniques that will reduce the odds of pulling the trigger?

We believe the answer is yes. We can easily use parenting
techniques that excel at raising children who effectively learn
to cope with stress in healthy ways. Such techniques include
guiding children to solve their own problems rather than solving
them for them, allowing children to experience the consequences
of their decisions, and responding to children's mistakes with
empathy and understanding rather than anger, frustration, and
criticism. These are great immunizations against the use of food
as a dysfunctional coping response. The experience of coping and
overcoming difficulties with good problem-solving skills leads
to the ability to confront feelings and issues in a healthy
manner, rather than displacing them with changes in food intake.
Also, the child's history of successfully coping with painful
outcomes of poor choices makes denial much less likely. And,
when a child's mistakes are met with empathy and understanding
rather than anger and frustration, a child feels supported and
understood rather than criticized, demeaned and alone.

3. Psychological Factors in Eating Disorders

Two personality factors have often been reported to be present
in eating disorders: perfectionism and high, unrealistic
expectations of self. Even when anorexic adults have achieved
success, deep down they report feeling insecure and inadequate.
There is a tendency to see things only in extremes without
shades of gray:

"I'm good or I'm bad."
"I'm pretty or I'm ugly."
"I'm successful or a complete failure."
"I'm perfect or defective."
"I'm fat or I'm thin."

Healthy parenting techniques discourage this type of thinking.
Parents: don't over-reassure your children. Over-reassurance
actually validates the child's negative thinking and may lead to
unhealthy "either/or" black-and-white thinking. Responding with,
"Gee, honey, I see it differently, but tell me how you are no
good," allows for less manipulation, more acceptance of
responsibility, and a child's far more accurate
self-examination. Using encouragement rather than praise is also
an important parenting technique to increase children's
self-awareness. Encouragement gives them experience in viewing
themselves, their responses, and their creations realistically,
rather than simply trying to please an authority figure. With
this simple tool, parents can easily help children learn how to
feel good from the inside out rather than looking for approval
and self-worth from authority figures.

4. The Role of the Family

There are a number of family factors that are thought to play a
role in eating disorders. As we look at some of these
interaction factors, it is safe to say that while healthy
parenting patterns certainly will not cause or aggravate the
problem, they may not be able to alleviate the problem either.
Loving, effective parents are known to have had children
suffering depression, suicide, and eating disorders. Also, this
discussion on parenting styles should not be used as a source of
parental guilt but instead provide motivation for change if
change is needed. Parents do the best they can, under the
circumstances they experience, to raise their children with the
love they are able to show. The problem in examining family
patterns lies with the fact that all sorts of dysfunctional
patterns have been reported. These form a long list:

- Smothering and over-protective families
- Controlling and critical parents
- A chronic feeling of being abandoned and misunderstood
- Having parents or a family that overemphasize appearance and
achievement
- Having rigid parents who don't model good conflict resolution
skills

The effect of unintentional, yet unhealthy, parental responses
cannot be ignored. Again, good parenting techniques do not
guarantee success, but at least they are unlikely to contribute
to the problem. So rather than focusing on what is speculatively
wrong, it is more effective to focus on doing what is right by
using healthy parenting skills rather than the unhealthy ones
that contribute to dysfunctional family patterns. Whether or not
an eating disorder is present, or may be present in the future,
it will never hurt for parents to show healthy responses and
good parenting techniques.

5. Societal Influences

Finally, there are possible societal factors that influence
eating disorders. Big drinks and big burgers have enticed the
population into a diabetic frenzy. While most of the population
is downright overweight, the females that populate the media
(those who model prettiness and good looks) are generally thin
to the point of appearing anorexic themselves. Talk about image
confusion! On the male side of the equation, we have the same
issue with buff men cavorting playfully with thin, pretty women.

With so much emphasis in our culture on athletic performance
and good looks, it is not too surprising that some predisposed
children take things too far. And, although on the surface it
seems reasonable enough to blame society for the
self-destructive choices of an individual, this is ultimately
self-defeating when dealing with individual situations. Blaming
society or others simply removes individual responsibility and
accountability and actually increases the likelihood of the
negative behavior.

In conclusion, when all is said and done, nobody, at this
point, can say with any certainty the exact cause of an eating
disorder in any one particular child. But we can say with
absolute certainty that all the speculation, studies, reports,
and conjecture do not implicate the healthy family interaction
patterns taught by Love and Logic. It would appear the
personality of the anorexic person is not that of children who
have grown up in a home advocating honest acceptance of personal
responsibility and where children are:

- Lovingly supported by parents who view mistakes as learning
experiences,
- Allowed to make choices and share control,
- And encouraged to cope with the stresses of life in healthy
ways.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure particularly
where eating disorders are concerned. At this time, there is no
cure for anorexia. And America's children are dying to lose
weight.

About the Author: The book "Parenting Children with Health
Issues" is by Foster W. Cline, M.D., child psychiatrist and
co-founder of Love and Logic (http://www.loveandlogic.com) and
Lisa Greene, mother of two children with cystic fibrosis. Visit
http://www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.

Source: http://www.isnare.com

Permanent Link:
http://www.isnare.com/?aid=218895&ca=Wellness%2C+Fitness+and+Diet