Interpersonal Relations

Five Stumbling Blocks To Successful Networking And How To Overcome Them

Five Stumbling Blocks To Successful Networking And How To Overcome Them

Five Stumbling Blocks To Successful Networking And How To Overcome Them

By: Lydia Ramsey

The ability to connect with people is essential to success in any business. Professional networking events present opportunities to interact with others on a personal level and to develop profitable relationships. These occasions are critical for anyone who wants to grow a business or promote a career.

Many people are simply not comfortable walking into a room full of strangers and striking up conversations. Here are five common stumbling blocks that you may face and tips to help you overcome them.

A RELUCTANCE TO TALK TO STRANGERS. You were taught at an early age not to speak to people you don't know. It's not safe. In certain situations today this is still good advice. In business, however, talking to strangers is a way to generate interest and support for your products and services. If you only talk to the people you already know, you will miss out on opportunities to make new connections and establish valuable contacts.

To get past your discomfort in talking to strangers, set a goal for yourself before you attend any networking event. Decide how many new contacts you want to make or how many strangers you want to meet. In some cases, you may specifically target individuals whom you'd like to know.

Next come up with some icebreakers or conversation starters. Have questions prepared that you can ask anyone you meet at the event. You may want to inquire about other people's business, their connection to the sponsoring organization or their opinion of the venue.

LACK OF A FORMAL INTRODUCTION. It's much easier to make a new contact when there is someone else to handle the introduction and pave the way. If you wait for another person to make the move you may not meet anyone. At networking events, the goal is to meet as many people as possible.

This is the time to take the bull by the horns, walk up to people you don't know, introduce yourself and start a conversation. You can do this if you have prepared your self-introduction in advance.

You will not introduce yourself the same way on every occasion. Perhaps it is your first time to attend an association meeting. In that case, you might want to say that as part of your introduction. Let people know who you are, why you are there and give them a reason to ask more abut you.

FEAR OF BEING SEEN AS PUSHY. You may think that you will turn people off if you are assertive and that if they want to talk to you, they will make the first move. If this is your line of thinking you will find yourself spending your time alone at the reception or meeting function and leaving without a single new connection. Being open, friendly and interested does not turn people off.

You will not come across as overly aggressive if you seek out the "approachable" people. These are the ones who are standing alone or who are speaking in groups of three or more. Two people talking to each other are not approachable because they may be having a private conversation and you would be interrupting.

THINKING THAT OTHER PEOPLE MAY NOT LIKE YOU. There is always the risk that the other person is not interested in you and doesn't want to meet or talk to you. It happens. If that is the case, don't take it personally. Nothing ventured is nothing gained. When you get a cold shoulder, smile, move on and say to yourself, "Next?"

HAVING YOUR INTENTIONS MISUNDERSTOOD. Approaching someone of the opposite sex to begin a conversation may seem more like flirting than networking. This is more of an issue for women than men. Women have an equal place in the work arena and need to make professional connections the same as men do. Women in business can no longer afford to hold back when there is opportunity at hand.

Neither men nor women will have their motives misinterpreted if they present themselves professionally in their attire and if they keep the conversation focused on business issues or topics that are not personal or private.

Whatever your stumbling blocks, face them before the next networking event and devise a personal plan for getting past them. Once you do, you will find yourself connecting with confidence and courtesy on every occasion and the results will be reflected in your bottom line.

 

Author Bio
Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert, professional speaker, corporate trainer and author of MANNERS THAT SELL - ADDING THE POLISH THAT BUILDS PROFITS. She has been quoted or featured in The New York Times, Investors' Business Daily, Entrepreneur, Inc., Real Simple and Woman's Day. For more information about her programs, products and services, e-mail her at [email protected] or visit her web site www.mannersthatsell.com

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The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

By: Kathy Paauw

"The average office worker receives more than 200 messages a day via snail mail, email, express mail, cell phone, landline, wireless Web, bicycle messenger, singing telegram, you name it. Taking in information these days is like trying to drink from a fire hose."
--Dr. Martha Beck

Did you know that one Sunday edition of The New York Times contains more information than all the written documents in the world during the 15th century? Does it seem like life is spinning out of control? The pace of life just keeps picking up! And with it, job satisfaction is on the decline.

In an Associated Press article, Marc Greenbaum, a 50-year-old professor at Suffolk Law School, stated that "I'm personally happier but I observe more people that are more miserable. There's more pressure on them to produce, more problems with maintaining a boundary between work and family, even maintaining a boundary between work and the outside because of things like e-mail, voicemail and the Blackberry. They can't get away."

According to the Families and Work Institute, over 47% of U.S. workers surveyed feel overworked. In addition, 59% of Americans describe their lives as very busy according to an NBC news survey. According to Dr. Richard Swensen, author of Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, the average American will spend one year in his/her life searching through desk clutter looking for misplaced objects. We are working harder and faster than ever. Being more organized can help reduce stress, save time, and improve efficiency.

We celebrate National Get Organized Week the first week in October. Most people think of "getting organized" as a physical act - clearing piles of paper, putting things away, etc. What many people overlook is the mental part of getting organized. And I always say that organizing your physical environment without first clarifying your priorities is like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic!

Here are 8 tips to help you with the mental part of getting and staying organized. I encourage you to read through the whole list, and then go back and choose two or three ideas to implement.

1. Understand the difference between URGENT and IMPORTANT. If it's important, it may be a vital priority for you. If it's urgent, it's time-sensitive, but it may or may not be important. Be sure you are clear about the difference when deciding what deserves your time. Check out the time management matrix at www.orgcoach.net/timematrix.html, which beautifully illustrates the difference.

2. Find time for yourself. Schedule time away from your work and your family. Use this opportunity to tune in to what you want and need. Don't feel that you're being selfish; you have a responsibility to yourself to take care of your needs. Studies show that productivity dramatically increases when you are well rested.

3. Check for balance between these four vital areas of your life:

  • Well-being - caring for your physical, mental, spiritual, and social needs
  • Family relationships
  • Work activities
  • Service activities - volunteer work, being a good neighbor, practicing random acts of kindness

4. Live your life in the present! Quit saying, "I'll do this when I get around to it." I have yet to find a person who said on their death bed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."

5. Increase productivity by planning your week and fine-tuning your workday. Block out time to handle priorities. Important tips to remember as you plan your week:

  • Have unscheduled time in your calendar for handling unexpected but important tasks.
  • Plan to work on creative activities during the time of day when you are at your best.
  • Schedule "protected time" to work on projects that need your undivided attention. If interruptions are eating you alive, close your door and ask that people come back to see you at a designated time.
  • Temporarily turn off the audio feature on your cell phone, pager and email account. Pick and choose when you respond and when it's appropriate to let calls go into voice mail.
  • Be realistic about your expectations. Don't set yourself up for failure by planning too much in one day.
  • Leave work at a reasonable hour so you have time for those other three areas of your life - self-care, family, and service to others.

6. Reduce your stress by being underwhelmed. Here are a few tips to help you avoid getting overwhelmed:

  • NO is a complete sentence. Don't bite off more than you can chew. When someone makes a request, buy some time before answering. Say, "Let me think about it," or "I'm in the middle of something right now. I'll call you back and let you know." This will give you time to evaluate the situation and decide if it's something you truly want to do.
  • Delegate as much as you can. Focus your time on activities that you enjoy and are best at.

7. Stay out of e-mail jail. Here are a few tips to help:

  • Determine frequency of checking for e-mail messages. Some people choose to check it throughout the day and even use such devices as the Blackberry when on the road, while others only check for messages a couple times a day. You are the only one who can determine what will work for you.
  • Use the F.A.T. (File, Act, Toss) method to keep your email inbox from piling up. If a message needs to be filed for future reference, place it in the appropriate email subject or contact folder. Place a red flag next to those items you need to act on but don't have time to do right at the moment. Immediately toss (delete or forward) anything you don't need to keep.
  • Remove your name from subscription lists that do not provide value to you.

8. Set up your work environment to keep your focus on what's most important. Here are some tips:

  • Arrange your workspace so you have the most commonly-used things close in. Store things used less frequently in less accessible space.
  • Create a filing system that enables you to find things instantly. The #1 reason that people pile instead of file is a fear of not being able to find it when they need it. Visit www.orgcoach.net/PaperTiger.html for some ideas.
  • Create a tickler file system to remind you of important follow up at the appropriate time. The #2 reason that people pile is a fear of forgetting to do something that is out-of-sight and out-of-mind. A good tickler system reminds you to follow up on the appropriate date, and provides an alternative to that "I'll just set it here for now" pile. Visit www.orgcoach.net/products/tickle.html#ticklerfile to see what a good tickler file system looks like.
  • Use the F.A.T. (File, Act, Toss) method to process your mail daily. Review our Trim the F.A.T. tip sheet at www.orgcoach.net/trimthefat.html.
  • Keep only what you plan to focus on today on your desktop. Remove visual distractions from your workspace so your attention is not pulled away from what you've chosen to work on today! Everything else should be put away until it's time for you to focus on it.

 

Author Bio
Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit www.orgcoach.net

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How To Leave Your Dead End Job

How To Leave Your Dead End Job

How To Leave Your Dead End Job

By: Liz Sumner, M.A., CPC

This is for everyone who is sticking with a job that no longer fits. Maybe it was right for awhile, for a certain time and place in your life. But not anymore. When was the last time you jumped out of bed with excitement about what the day would bring?

"But I love the people I work with."
"It's so convenient."
"The money's pretty decent, considering... "

I've heard all the excuses. Hell, I've made them. You know that job is sucking your soul and it's time to leave. The only thing left to decide is how.

Above all, you want it to be your decision. Don't let boredom and apathy lead to an attitude that gets you fired or passed over. Who wants to work with a burnout no matter how skilled they are?

The number one reason people stay in bad jobs is fear of the unknown. Are you hanging on to something that doesn't fit just because it's familiar? What if the unknown wasn't scary? What if it was filled with joy and delightful possibilities? Sure, there's that transition period where you leave what you can do in your sleep and head into new territory. I assure you that the downhill slide of staying too long is far greater than the steepness of a little learning curve. How might you make unknown territory more comfortable?

1. Make It Known
Learn about it. Do research. Talk to people. Do informational interviews. Volunteer, be a trainee. Find ways to educate yourself. Go to school. Hire a trainer. Shine some light on the stuff the scary ignorance and it's no big deal. If you're drawn to it you probably have a knack.

2. Make It Up
There are a lot of successful people in the world who just decide that they know what they're doing. I'll never forget my friend Susan, a beautiful and confident woman who discovered her gift for public speaking in Toastmaster's and went on to become a highly paid consultant just because she decided she was worth listening to. I had just finished grad school and was trying to get my nerve up to go pitch companies. She read a book or two, made a presentation, and was suddenly crossing the country getting big fees. There's a lot to be said for chutzpah.

3. Try It On A Small Scale
Part-time or pilot projects work well particularly if you're thinking of venturing out on your own. The hours are long when you don't give up your day job but if you're pursuing your passion you generally can find the energy. Cater a friend's party for the cost of the supplies. Print some business cards on your computer. Do some pro bono work for a civic group for the testimonials. Before long you'll feel ready to go for it.


4. Dive In
This is my favorite. I get enormous energy from leaping off metaphorical cliffs. Instead of screaming "NO", try saying "Wheee!" or "Geronimo." I've crossed the country on three occasions with no job and no place to live. I keep having soft, successful landings so I keep leaping. Sometimes it takes a geographic change to get yourself out of a rut. Try something out there and see if you can fly.


5. Be Prepared
So maybe you're not a leaper. You can plan for contingencies, save that nest egg. Find an answer for all the what-ifs. But be careful not to over prepare. Just how likely are those eventualities that you're covering? There comes a point when it's time to take steps.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now".

-J. W. von Goethe


Remember, if you only do what you already know how to do your world would get pretty stale. Growth is an essential part of life. There comes a time to move on. You can feel when change is due. When that time comes the universe makes it easy for you. The money for graduate school appears, child care arrangements work out, an article about a new company catches your eye. Pay attention to the signals. Then trust your judgment. If something tells you this new opportunity is right, it probably is.

 

Author Bio
Liz Sumner, M.A., CPC, of Find Your Way Coaching specializes in mid-life reassessment. Are you happy with your direction? Do you feel good about yourself? Are you fearless? Joyful? Energized? You could be. Visit www.findyourwaycoaching.com or call 603-876-3956 for more information.

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Changing Your Child's Behavior With Positive Reinforcement

Changing Your Child's Behavior With Positive Reinforcement

Changing Your Child's Behavior With Positive Reinforcement

By: Destry Maycock, MSW

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

 

Author Bio
Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at www.parentingstore.com

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Homework - I Mean, Working At Home

Homework - I Mean, Working At Home

Homework - I Mean, Working At Home

Whether downsized, outsourced, or sick and tired of cubicle hell, more people are earning their living by working at home. The work at home industry is booming with a diverse lot of income earning opportunities. People of all skill and education levels can find a niche in this market. And the driving force that allows such an option is the Internet.

Telecommuters

Internet technology has enabled former office rats to do their work at home. Armed with a computer, fax, and telephone, employees from back office data entry to management staff are able to perform part or all of their jobs at home. The telecommuting option is appreciated by workers as it allows them more freedom and control over the work day and more time to spend with families. Companies find that this set up often improves employee morale and productivity.

Net Work

Earning money via the Internet has become an increasingly popular option in the work at home industry. Chances are you know someone who sells merchandise on eBay. Many online merchants are working out of their homes. The Internet offers a wealth of opportunities for writers to earn a living at the keyboard. People with an Internet-based career often start on a part-time basis while working their regular office gig. Once their "web job" takes off, they escape the office grind for full-time work at home.

Home Base

Another option in the work at home industry is a home-based business where you go out in the field to provide services for customers. This is a wide open opportunity - think of any product or service that people need and, viola, you have a business. Again, with the Internet, advertising for your home business is no longer a burden. For example, the senior population is exploding. Start an elder service that helps seniors with light housekeeping, grooming, and transportation. Two career families and busy folks in general equal a business for you running errands such as shopping, chauffeuring kids, and picking up dry cleaning.

You can strike out on your own with these home-based businesses or buy a franchise. Franchises offer a brand name people know and trust along with marketing support from the headquarters office. Start up costs can be out of reach for a lot of people, however, there are hundreds of franchise options in the work at home industry that will fit with small budgets.

Scam Alert

The Internet and print and broadcast media are full of ads for great-sounding work at home opportunities. Sadly, the work at home industry is full of scam companies that advertise high income home-based jobs. Some ads are specific while others are vague and keep you in the dark about the exact nature of the pie in the sky venture.

Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Do your research before you plunge into any work at home opportunity. Talk with others who are working at home. Check out franchises or Internet opportunities with the Better Business Bureau. Despite the scam artists, there are thousands of options in the work at home industry and one of them will suit you.

Author Bio

HASNUDDIN HAMDAN is a serious Internet Home Business Affiliate. He is always looking out to guide people who would like to start their own successful Internet Home Business. Details are available at: www.emarketsociety.com/pips.html

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The All Important Job Objective on a Teacher Resume

The All Important Job Objective on a Teacher Resume

The All Important Job Objective on a Teacher Resume

I see a lot of teacher resumes. The first improvement I make to all of them is in the Job Objective. This is a statement of intention at the top of your resume. Why is this little piece of information so important to a teacher resume?

Good question!

Job objectives not only tell the employer what kind of job you are seeking (which is very important if they have more than one teaching position open in their school) but it lets them know that you are interested in the exact job they are offering. It makes them feel like you are a perfect fit for them. You can accomplish this even if you are willing to accept a variety of teaching jobs.

Here are a few secrets to a strong job objective for your teacher resume:

If you have the means to tweak your resume, change the job objective to match every job you apply for. This might mean just a one or two word change, or a complete rewrite. Either way, by doing this it makes the employer think that you are a perfect match for them. As an example, instead of, "A teaching position" they'll read "A third grade teacher in a bilingual classroom."
If you can't easily change your resume, opt for listing broader job categories. With this approach I suggest also including a spectrum of responsibility, which reaches from the lower range of jobs you'd be willing work to the higher levels you'd be qualified for. For instance, "A position as a Teacher's Aid or Pre-School Teacher."
If you want to include some keywords or job highlights at the top of your resume, I suggest that you allow your objective to stand alone. Include the highlights underneath your objective so that it is still easily seen upon first glance.

You can include a little selling point for yourself if you happen to have multiple years of experience. You can include something like, "A teaching position utilizing 16 years of classroom experience."

Do not write your objective in the first person (using "I" or "my").

Resist the urge to overlook your job objective. It should be short and easy to read, describing what type of job you are looking for. It's small but important, possibly the first thing a prospective employer reads on your resume. Make sure they know what your job intentions are.

Author Bio

Laura Malischke, owner of Great Teacher Resumes is a professional resume writer and an acclaimed teacher resume expert. She has written hundreds of resumes for clients all over the United States and Canada. To learn more about Ms. Malischke please visit www.Great-Teacher-Resume.com.

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Ten Tips to Tame Your Child's Temper Tantrums

Ten Tips to Tame Your Child's Temper Tantrums

Ten Tips to Tame Your Child's Temper Tantrums

By: Destry Maycock, MSW

David's mother explained, "Whenever David doesn't get his way he throws himself on the floor, screams, kicks and cries incessantly. What can we do to help him overcome this behavior?"

TIP:
What is David getting out of this behavior? First make sure that you are not rewarding this type of behavior, positively or negatively because both will help keep it alive. If you eventually give in to this behavior by changing your initial decision (not letting David go out to play, refusing David a cookie), David has learned that tantrums work. Hence, when David wants his way he may think, " a good tantrum just may get me that candy bar, it got me out of bedtime last night." Negative attention (yelling, threatening, ridicule, spanking) seldom changes the behavior. Getting you upset may be just as rewarding as giving in to their demands. So again, make sure you are not unintentionally rewarding David for this behavior.

TIP:
Be proactive. Think of the situations that invite David's
meltdowns and head them off before they happen. Do questions that require a yes or no answer provoke a tantrum? Instead of "Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch David?" try "It is time for lunch David. Would you like PB&J or macaroni and cheese?" Advance notice may help as well. "We will be leaving Grandma's in ten minutes. Get everything you want to take care of completed before we go." Is David more likely to throw a tantrum when he is tired? Then you may want to provide an opportunity for him to take a nap.

TIP:
Consequence. Be sure to tie the consequence back to the misbehavior. "David, remember the last time we went to the store and you threw a fit because I wouldn't let you have that Power Ranger? Remember how you kept putting it in the cart and screaming that you wanted it? Well I am going shopping but you won't be going with me. I just don't feel like dealing with that kind of behavior today. Mrs. Hamblin is here to watch you until I get back. Try to make the best of it. Love ya, bye."

TIP:
Move David to a different location. The key is for you to model taking care of yourself. Your ears hurt when you hear David's screaming. You may not be able to control whether or not David has a tantrum, but you can control where he does it. "Tantrums are for the bedroom. Let's go." You may want to give him a choice. "Where do you want to be until you can get that under control, the bathroom or the laundry room? If David can't decide quickly, you decide for him. Come on out when there is no more crying and screaming."

TIP:
Notice the exceptions. Point out the times when David may have thrown a tantrum but did not. "I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked without throwing a "fit". You should feel good about being able to do that."

TIP:
Give the behavior a name. This will help externalize the problem, which is to say, it separates the person from the problem. It helps David and the family view the behavior as the problem and not him (the problem is the problem). For example, you could call David's tantrums the "uglies". This can help put David and you on the same side in the battle against the "uglies". Questions like "can you think of a time when you have beat the "uglies" David? How did you do it? or how do you know when the "uglies" are coming? What can you do to stop them? "David may enjoy the imagery of conquering the "uglies" and this can give David a sense of control over the behavior.

TIP:
Acknowledge his feelings. This aligns you with David and sets the stage for him to begin to work through his own problems.

David: "Dad, can I get this Power Ranger?"

Dad: "No, David I am not buying toys today."

David: Eyebrows coming closer together and lip starting to pucker. "But it is the last one I need and I will have them all."

Dad: "Not today David."

David: Screaming and crying. "You never get me anything I ask for. You don't love me."

Dad: Acknowledging David's feelings. "You must feel really sad about not being able to get the Power Ranger. I know I sometimes feel bad when I can't get what I want."

David: Sniffling. "Yea, I really want it."

Dad: "Tell you what. (Taking pen and paper out of planner) I will write this down as "things David wants"."

David: "Okay Dad."


You can later use this list for surprises or gifts for special occasions.

TIP:
Tell David what you are going to do. "David, I'll come back down stairs when you get that under control" or "I will be happy to talk to you when you are not crying and you voice is soft like mine."

TIP:
Ignore the tantrum. If your have the will power to outright ignore the behavior you must remember that it may get worse before it gets better. That is, when David's behavior doesn't produce the desired results, he may turn it up a notch to see if a higher intensity level gets a response. Be careful. If you give in and respond to the higher level or longer duration, David learns that is how intense or how long he needs to tantrum from now on in order to receive attention.

TIP:
Direct David toward a different way of expressing how he feels. "David, here is some paper and crayons. How about drawing how you are feeling right now." This is a positive, less annoying way of communicating how he feels.

 

Author Bio
Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing products that help parents. Visit www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

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Committed to Nothing

Committed to Nothing

Committed to Nothing

My uncle recently retired from a large manufacturing company after 40 years of service! This is no doubt a great accomplishment, and I congratulate him for this achievement. However it really does cause me to wonder. Could I ever work for the same company for 40 years?

Let's just put this into perspective.

My uncle retired in 2006 which means he started working in 1966. Let's put this in modern terms. I graduated from college in 2003 and was very fortunate to land a job at a great company in December of 2002 before I graduated. If I were to stay with my current company for 40 years I would retire in the year 2042. Needless to say I would be vested in my 401k and probably have about 200 vacation days. Is it very likely for me to stay with my current company for 40 years? No. Does my employer know that this not a very likely scenario? Yes.

Isn't it true that today's young people do not even consider finding a job out of college or high school and staying with that company until retirement? I know I sure don't. Our priorities have changed; our outlook on work has changed drastically. When my uncle graduated from high school to go to work, work was something quite different than it is today. Then it was a means to an end, it was a necessity. You went to work did your time and came home, end of story. Then after 40 years you retired with a sweet pension plan and Social Security. Today that simply isn't the case, is it? Work is something more than eight hours a day five days a week. It is a piece of the total person. It is a slice of who we are. It speaks about what type of person we are and how we want to be identified. For many, work has become who they are. They do not work because they have to they work because they want to. This is especially true for the self-employed. And I am not only talking about the sacrifice of our thumbs to the almighty Blackberry's and Treos.

Not only has perceptions of work changed but the type of work has drastically changed. When my uncle started his career in 1966 most everyone worked in some type of manufacturing or factory facility. The type of work was very repetitious and blue collar. Please don't think I am demeaning that type of work because it is still very necessary to our country. However, the need for thousands and thousands of factory workers is not there any more. We still do need some "factory" workers but even those who work in manufacturing today are very skilled workers. The need for general labors is not nearly as high as the need for engineers and technicians of all types.

Since the perception of work and the type of work has changed the attitude of the employee has changed. Employees do not feel as committed to their company for a variety of reasons which we will briefly mention today:

Commitment as a whole across society has waned drastically (i.e. the United States divorce rate of over 50%).

Students are told from a young age that the world is their's for the taking. Upon graduation they feel like there is so much to accomplish and so little time. In order to conquer the world you really can't stay at the same company for 40 years can you?

The "grass is always greener" syndrome has increased greatly over the past 50 years to cause a feeling of discontent across of the country. Discontent will not allow you to stay at the same company for 40 years.

Since white collar jobs are not usually repetitious like blue collar jobs, you would think employees would stay longer because they are always working on something new. That isn't the case though. In some industries turn over is as high as 90%.

One other issue we must not forget is that percentage of the workforce who is fired from their employer because of certain choices they have made. Those workers striving for the 40 year certificate of service may want to think carefully about the actions they take on the job so they do not jeopardize their shot at having a long and successful career.

Another major reality in the 21st century job market is the volatility of corporate America. The cold hard truth is that business is moving much faster than it was in 1966. Jobs come and go, companies come and go, and products come and go at an accelerated pace. What this means for the workforce is more change. In my book "The 7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Graduated," I talk about this very issue. Those who aren't afraid to change will never be unemployed.

Working toward retirement is not as sexy as it once was since the world of pensions and social security is no longer a possibility for workers in their 20s.

My uncle worked hard during his 40 years, he saw management come and go, he learned new skills, and he stayed valuable to his employer. That is a key that all of us need to take from this article. Weather or not you work for a company 40 years or 4 years you must stay valuable to that company in order for them to keep you around. What value do you bring to the company you work for or will work for? That is the question that the 21st century must continually ask itself in order to stay marketable.

If you are one of those few people who are trying to stay with the same company for their entire career God bless you because there aren't many left. Also please email me; I would love to hear from you.

Author Bio
Justin Driscoll is the author of the 7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Graduated. He helps individuals find their passion in life and not a job! For more information on his book and his speaking availability visit his web site, www.justindriscoll.net

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How to use a Token Economy to Shape Your Child's Behavior

How to use a Token Economy to Shape Your Child's Behavior

How to use a Token Economy to Shape Your Child's Behavior

By: Destry Maycock, MSW

A token economy is a behavioral modification technique that was first used in mental institutions to reinforce and establish desirable behaviors in their patients. Today you can find token economies being used in schools, treatment programs, and some families have found its usefulness in shaping their children's behavior. The token economy is a system in which targeted behaviors are reinforced with tokens (secondary reinforcers) and are later exchanged for rewards (primary reinforcers). Tokens can be in the form of fake money, buttons, poker chips, stickers, etc. While rewards can range anywhere from snacks to privileges/activities.

To establish a token economy in your home first you must identify the behaviors you want your children to change (desirable behaviors). These behaviors could include completing homework, brushing teeth, coming home on time, completing chores, not arguing, going to bed without a hassle, etc. You will want to limit your focus to a maximum of three or four behaviors at a time in order to keep things manageable.

Next, decide what you will use for tokens. You may want to assign different tokens for each of your children to reduce the risk of taking each other's tokens. You will also want to use something that can't be counterfeited.

Primary reinforcers need to be identified and can include such things as snacks, activities, or privileges like watching television, playing at a friends, computer time, etc. Now that the desired behaviors are identified, as are the primary reinforcers, you will need to set a value for each of them. That is, when a desired behavior occurs how many tokens is it going to be worth. Also, when your child wants to exchange the tokens they have earned for a primary reinforcer, there will need to be a predetermined value placed on the primary reinforcer. For example, if your child goes the entire day without fighting with their brother they could earn one or two tokens. As a primary reinforcer you could have playing at a friends house. It could cost them thee tokens. The trick is striking the right balance between what they are earning each day and what they will typically expend on primary reinforcers. If tokens come to easily then the primary reinforcers lose their value. While if primary reinforcers are priced too high or tokens are too difficult to earn then your child may give up.

Now that you have they system in place you are ready to implement it. First, identify three or four behaviors you want to reinforce. Then list them and decide how many tokens each behavior is going to be worth. You may want to put this list on the fridge or some place where it can be easily seen. Next you will identify what will be used as primary reinforcers and determine how many tokens each will cost. This list should be placed some place easily seen too.

When you catch your children engaging in the behaviors you have identified, reinforce the behavior by providing the predetermined number of tokens. It is important to couple the dispersing of tokens with a behavioral description of what you saw and verbal praise. Eventually, you will want to move on to other behaviors that you want to reinforce and will rely solely on verbal praise to maintain previously established behaviors. The reinforcement schedule should transition from a continuous schedule of reinforcement (1 behavior : 1 token) to a variable ration schedule of reinforcement (3-5 behavior : 1 token). Last, you will fade out tokens completely using only praise to maintain the behavior. You will then focus on other behaviors and repeat the same pattern.

Your children will need to be responsible to keep track of and manage the tokens they earn. There will come a time when they will want to purchase a primary reinforcers. They should always pay for them before being allowed to engage in or partake of primary reinforcers otherwise the program loses its credibility. If they run out of or lose their tokens they simply can not purchase a primary reinforcer until they have earned enough.

What does this kind of a reinforcement system do for your children? It takes away the sense of entitlement a lot of kids have today. Instead of expecting privileges or activities for nothing on their part, they now have to earn them by the acquisition of tokens through their good behavior. A token economy can help a child be more responsible and teach them how to manage their resources. Something else that it does is teaches children to delay gratification where the world teaches them to expect and desire instant gratification. Lastly, the token economy can be used to extinguish misbehaviors and establish positive behaviors.

A token economy will require some effort on the part of the parent but the benefits far outweigh the small amount of time a parent has to invest in the program each day.

 

Author Bio
Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing products that help parents. Visit www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

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Who Took Your Million Dollar Job?

Who Took Your Million Dollar Job?

Who Took Your Million Dollar Job?

It is obvious that many people go to colleges; universities get their degrees and thought that life is going to be good and the future is going to be great. It is after struggling to find a job for months do they realize that it is not as straight forward as it seems. You might be a graduate from MIT or even Harvard but if you don't have a good and professional resume, it will kill you.

You have invested in yourself by spending tens of thousands of dollars to get your degree. Your whole life had been studying and learning to the point that you are ready to reap the rewards. What do you do then? Go to Google and grab a resume template. It sounds really idiotic but just wait a minute and ask yourself this question. Isn't everybody doing that too! Oh yes, you've just joined the me-too group of job seekers.

In lots of marketing events you will always hear the marketing gurus say this. You need to differentiate yourself. You need to stand out from the rest. It is true. In every industry, only the top 5 players can be guaranteed of survival. Look around you and you will realize that the smaller players eventually fades off and new companies start to come to the scene and this cycle just repeats itself ever since the dawn of time.

That's the reason why you need to stand out from the rest. It doesn't matter where you graduated or how good your communication skills are. You need to be able to strike interest and gain the HR executive's attention. These folks normally spend less than 30-45 seconds reviewing each resume. You could expect at least 100-300 applicants applying for each job.

How Do You Get Your Resume Noticed?
First of all, forget about cover letters. Who reads it anyway? Through my experience serving the likes of large companies like IBM, Accenture, HP, Unilever and many more, there's one thing for sure. You do not need to send a cover letter. This information just helped you saved 100USD and I hope the resume providers don't hunt me down for sharing this piece of information.

I am going to share these trade secrets with you and please read it carefully.

Step 1
1. Do A Spell Check
HR executives hate it when applicants send word documents that are not checked and you get all sorts of red and greens from the error from Microsoft Word. Like I say before, they only spend 30-40 seconds reading each email. Their job is to just send the resume to the hiring manager and they need the resume to be perfectly readable. You can make their job easier by spell checking.

2. Never Use More Than 1 Font.
A lot of times, I realized that most resumes that comes from India has got this problem. Apparently there are 4-5 different fonts with different sizes hijacking the resume. This makes my eyes pop up at times. Please avoid that. Don't use fancy fonts as well.

3. Drop the Cover Letters
Instead of paying hundreds and getting a 1-2 page cover letter that will confuse the HR executives, choose to write a small 1-2 paragraph of executive summary that is around 4-5 lines telling the HR executives what specific job you are applying and what are your strengths. Why no cover letters? Do you know how troublesome it is to file two documents instead of one? I can vouch that HR executives don't read cover letters. Period.

4. Use A Professional Looking Template
Please get a professional looking template. If you want to get average returns, you can do whatever the others are doing. Know the secrets of what those who work in large MNCs are doing. You need to have a resume that will excite the HR executives. One that is so good that they simply do not need do anything and can forward straightaway.

5. Knowing What A Job-Winning Resume Look Like
If you are applying for a job of an IT Consultant, you need to know what it looks like. Similarly for SAP, Oracle Consultants, Executive Director, Sales Manager, CPA, Account...etc. You need to know what a job-winning resume look like. There are lots of bogus resume providers out there. It's simple to setup a website and boast you are the best or the cheapest. But you seriously need to ask whether they know what they're doing about. It is better to work with vendors who walk the talk and preferably in the headhunting industry so that they know what they're doing. The job of the resume providers are there to fill the gaps and to consult/advise you on how they can best present you to the companies at large.

Coming back to the topic, 'Who Took Your Million Dollar Job'? I would like to ask you this question. Do you know of anybody who's in the same job as you who are making another $500 or $1000 extra? What if you can get the same deal or even better? Imagine you having $500 more every month. This adds up to around $6,000 a year excluding bonuses. If you were to multiply by 30 years it would add up to $180,000. However, if you were to compound the bonuses over the 30 years, you would be getting close to 1 Million Dollars. Now you ask, 'Who Took Your Million Dollars?'

The only fear is to sit around and do nothing. Here's the paradigm shift. If you always think the others are good and that's why they get good paying jobs then please go on complaining and bitching about how life sucks. I can assure you that a lot of them don't deserve the jobs they have but are there because they invested in themselves. They are there because they might have done something right. You might be next.

Author Bio
Edmund Ng is the CEO of a consortium of Headhunting Firms. He also manages multiple job portals and the largest IT-Jobs Yahoo Groups in Singapore. He also runs www.PurchaseResume.com, a professional resume service provider that has helped more than 700 people get their dream jobs.

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